it’s a night for dark songs to go with the grey. for drives in dark dark settings. to be far from the edge and right in the middle of nothing. lost in the beats and the minutia. with edits and re-writes. deletes and pauses. no kicks just a gentle embrace of it. keeping it in the spaces.
do you know? know the songs. where they should go. the order they come down in. how they circle back to the top. do you know the lines to take. the ones to ignore. the space and the pause.
this would have been a night for a drive. with the city glowing grey. to a place were the lights reflect off the water. time to think. on this and that. in the cold and wet and dark.
and we’ll jump to the middle. maybe we’ll circle back or maybe we won’t. but here there’s hope. fear. yearning. questions that need to be asked. questions that want to be asked. to early and to late and somewhere in-between. here at the beginning of the middle. but not really.
it’s overwhelming. it’s 0 to 60 in no time flat. it’s constantly moving forward. hoping there’s no trip. no stumble. it’s the only way it can be. fill it all in and take the pause later. because when it comes the pause is always longer then you think. and it all works out. even when you think it won’t. and there’s a reason. and a cause. and a result. and never as bad as the late nights imagine it could be.
there was a turn at some point. from one to the other. and I don’t remember when that was. but it was for the best. even if it’s hard to keep up sometimes. but it’s the only option.
And the sadness wells up at the strangest of times. Over taking when you least expect it of course. Not like the anger. That you see coming. Feel building. You can deal with it how you like. The sadness doesn’t give you a choice. It just forces it’s way in when it feels like it. Not that any of it changes. Not that this is anything new. Or unique. It is as it is. And it will be. And has been. And for me right now. These aren’t linked. These are separate. Maybe you can see which is what and where. Maybe you can’t. But it doesn’t really matter. It’s all universalities. One of many. One of few. So it’s burrowing down into it. Covering in the familiar and the new. As long as it’s moving forward.